1. Buy chinese food*, preferable a meat dish with sauce... maybe brown sauce?
2. Put in refrigerator for 24 hrs
3. Turn upside on a plate and shake out of the mold**
*specifically the kind that comes in that round dish-with-a-lid contraption, not the stereotypical chinese food boxes, unless you want a square aspic, but who the fuck wants a square aspic. fuck, who wants an aspic?!? ew.